I remember feeling disappointed, vulnerable, and particularly hard on myself after I received a C- on my mid-term exam for Macroeconomics. Seeming flustered and confused because I thought I new the material after studying countless hours, I approached my professor to ask about my grade. His response was, “Are you going to remember this grade a week from now, a month from now, even a year from now?” I looked at him with even more confusion if that is possible. I took a moment and said with uncertainty, “No, I guess not.” You see, as far back as I can remember I have always been a perfectionist. Although I was an average student, I always studied for tests and turned my homework in on time. I would constantly look to others for approval, whether that be from my friends, coaches, teachers, or parents. So of course it makes sense why I was completely dumbfounded by my professor’s response. I wanted him to tell me what I needed to do to make it right, to make it perfect.
That was a moment in my life where I felt stuck and couldn’t quite connect the dots. I wanted all the answers right then and there, but that would have been the easy way out. Looking back at that moment I will forever be grateful to my professor, Dr. Morrison. He gave me a valuable life lesson, far greater than an A+ on a test. Instead of telling me what I wanted to hear, he told me what I needed to hear.
Although it took me awhile to realize it, he helped me put everything in perspective. Fast-forward three years later, I completely shifted paths of wanting to be a Creative Director of a Fashion Magazine where perfection is everything to now being a Yoga Instructor where letting go is everything. But even as a Yoga Instructor who is supposedly "peaceful," I am still a human who struggles with striving for perfection, stressing about the little things, and disappointment when things don't turn out the way I expect.
We all go through our own processes in life and in those moments when we feel stuck, the long and windy road to seemingly nowhere unveils something beautiful at the end. Stay the course and remember that practice makes progress.
Hi, I'm Lauren and I am here to support people to find freedom in being authentic and the power to carry that out in their lives and community. Writing is one way I like to explore that for myself. Here is my archive of reflections.